Today's flash fiction is my entry for Candilynn's Follow My Lead Contest. The prompt given is the picture below.
Under Sally’s
Watch
The
explosions in the distance look like fireworks. Lindi is perched upon her
window sill, overlooking the violent festivities. She calmly combs the knots in
her wavy, chestnut hair with her callused fingers and makes a wish.
Marcus
is out there somewhere, fighting to hold them back, and her wish is that she’ll
be able to see him again. He’s been gone for three days, but she has faith in
her brother’s skills. He’s taught her everything he knows—like an older brother
should. At least he left her in Sally’s protective hands.
The
quakes from crashing buildings shake her high-rise apartment tower. The panic
of hopeless pedestrians fills the street below. But she has no intention of
running. The sweat across her brow and beading along her forearms is from the
summer evening heat, and nothing else. In her favorite dark tank top and faded
shorts, she waits like an owl scanning for mice, eager to swoop down at the
perfect moment and extend her experienced talons.
When
the first soldiers reach the street below, she knows it is time to step away
from the window. Lindi hops down from the sill, the wooden floor slippery under
her bare feet. She snatches the Savage 110 BA sniper rifle leaning against the
wall, kneels before the window, and takes aim. Gazing intently into the
telescopic sight, Lindi finds her first target. He is young, probably on his
first tour, in way over his head.
“Steady,
Sally,” she says, exhaling slowly while grazing the trigger.
Excellent work! I wasn't expecting the story to go in that direction! :D
ReplyDeleteVery intense and evocative. I loved the image of her waiting like an owl.
ReplyDeleteSally is a rifle! Very clever.
ReplyDeleteExcellent! Like Nick, I loved the owl imagery too.
ReplyDeleteI love Lindi's character. Smart, strong and protective
ReplyDeleteLove this!
ReplyDeleteYour Friday flashes are my treat for the week.
Lindi is a strong, brave character. I hope she meets up with Marcus.
ReplyDeleteKyra, glad you liked it. :)
ReplyDeleteNick, thank you!
Alex, I came up with that after I wrote the first draft, feeling I'd found what was missing.
Elise, thank you.
Heather, thanks!
Carol, thanks so much! :)
Medeia, I like to believe she will.
I like how I thought Sally was a person at first. That was a clever surprise. :) Very cool!
ReplyDeleteGreat twist at the end! I was not expecting Sally to be the rifle. Well done Micheal.
ReplyDeleteExcellent flash fiction piece, Michael. BTW, loving Provex City. The whole shoplifting thing was great although I question, why are all security guards fat? LOL If you're gonna catch teenagers, you better be hitting the cardio...
ReplyDeleteLove the vibe... great feel. :)
ReplyDeleteGreat job. This is a great piece. I love FF that twists. :)
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed the twist at the end. Nice work!
ReplyDelete