Summon the Brilliance

Why am I the most productive when I have the least amount of time? I remember doing that in school, too. I procrastinated until the week or night before a project was due and put it all together in a flash of brilliance. Okay, not always (brilliant, that is). But I felt like I got my best ideas at the last minute.

Over the past few years as a Starbucks manager, I would typically get home three hours before my wife. I also usually took a weekday off, having it all to myself. I had so much free time! And I got some writing done, some editing done, some submissions in... But I also wasted a lot of time. I hadn't yet decided to self-publish Provex City and had no social media marketing in place.I was just indecisively chugging along.

Now, I work about 50 hours a week, and have a wife and two month old daughter waiting for me when I get home every day. I have no more quiet weekdays off. And I've gotten more done in these past two months than I had in the entire year before. I'm writing my second book on my breaks at work (also coming into the office a little early). I'm blogging and trying to find new ways to promote Provex City and meet new book-loving people in my one hour of quiet time per night (once we finally get the baby to sleep), and during naps and feedings on the weekend. I've never felt so strapped for time, so productive, motivated, excited, and exhausted all at the same time.

I wish I had utilized my time better when I had it in excess, but I believe there is a reason for everything (though many reasons go unrealized). I wasn't ready then. I'm ready now. I sometimes think I waited too long and missed the boat--it's too late now--but then I remind myself of one of my favorite movie lines (from Vanilla Sky): Evey passing moment is another chance to turn it all around. Yes, I said that in my Lucky 7 post, and now I'm just repeating myself. But it was worth repeating. It's not too late. It's happening now, which is obviously the perfect time because it's happening. All I can do is keep working. Maybe since every night now feels like the night before a deadline, the brilliance will continue to flow from the mountain tops in a seemingly endless supply. That would be nice.

*** I've been listening to the new The Used single, Hands and Faces, over and over throughout the writing of this entire post. Editing included. :) ***